MY TRIP TO THE VET...

I GUESS THE BEST WAY TO BEGIN SHARING MY TIME AT THE VET WITH YOU, WOULD BE TO START WITH THE 'NOT SO GOOD' NEWS  FIRST, OKAY? THIS WAY...WHEN YOU HEAR THE REALLY GREAT NEWS, YOU WON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT THE BAD ANY MORE!

WE OPENED THE DOOR TO THE WAITING ROOM AT THE VET'S OFFICE AND STEPPED INSIDE.. EVERY SINGLE LIVING THING IN THE BUILDING WITH EYEBALLS, SNAPPED THEIR HEADS IN OUR DIRECTION WITH UNPRECEDENTED SYNCHRONICITY AND FOLLOWED OUR EVERY MOVEMENT...

WE WENT TO THE FRONT DESK, SIGNED IN, AND TOOK A SEAT.

I BEGIN LOOKING SLOWLY AROUND THE ROOM AT THE OTHER CATS AND DOGS, STARTING ON MY LEFT...(THAT WOULD BE YOUR RIGHT)....I'M JUST SAYING.

LET'S SEE...WE HAVE A LUMBERJACK WITH  A CAT ON A LEASH? OOOOOKAAAAAAAY.
THAT WOULD BE A FIRST FOR ME!
(I PROBABLY JUST NEED TO GET OUT A LITTLE MORE).

NEXT WE HAVE A...WELL...I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT KIND OF DOG THIS USED TO BE WITH IT'S NOSE ALL PUSHED INTO IT'S FACE LIKE THAT?

"LET ME GIVE YOU A LITTLE ADVICE MY FAT LITTLE FUNNY-FACED FRIEND, STOP CHASING PARKED CARS AND NEVER CHASE A PLASTIC BALL ACROSS A LAMINATE FLOOR IN A ROOM FULL OF LOWER CABINETS!"

WELL....IT'S WHAT I WANTED TO SAY...

NEXT..WE HAVE A LADY SITTING NEXT TO A LITTLE GIRL WITH A PUPPY IN HER LAP. OH LOOK, THE MOTHER IS POINTING AT ME!
LET'S LISTEN IN AND SEE WHAT SHE'S TELLING HER LITTLE GIRL!

"LOOK HONEY, THAT LADY'S DROPPING OFF HER PUPPY'S RAGGEDY OLD, NASTY STUFFED TOY TO PLAY WITH WHILE SHE'S HERE!"

REALLY?  DO I REALLY LOOK THAT BAD!?

(I SHOULD OPEN MY EYES REALLY WIDE AND BARK AT HER LIKE FOGHORN AND SEE IF WE CAN'T MAKE HER GO POOPIE IN THE HOUSE!)

THE WOMAN AT THE DESK CALLED OUT MY NAME AND TOOK US BACK TO ONE OF THE EXAMINATION ROOMS WHERE WE WAITED FOR THE VET.

I FIGURED I WAS PROBABLY IN GOOD HANDS WHEN I NOTICED THE DOGTORATE OF VETERINARY MEDICINE DEGREE HANGING ON THE WALL. I JUST DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THE REASON FOR DOING THE EXAMINATION IN A REFRIGERATOR!

I'VE GOT SKIN THINNER THAN TIN FOIL AND I AM TELLING YOU..IT IS COLD UP IN HERE.

THE DOC STEPPED INTO THE ROOM AND GOT ALL THE INFORMATION DEE AND THE BIG GUY DID KNOW ABOUT ME. IT WASN'T MUCH. AND THEN HE SCOOPED ME UP IN HIS 98.6 DEGREE ARMS AND PROMISED HE'D BE BACK WITH ME...IN JUST A LITTLE BIT.

A LITTLE WHILE LATER WE WERE BACK IN THE EXAMINATION ROOM.

'"LET'S SEE" THE VET BEGAN...

I WOULD SAY DITZY'S AGE IS RIGHT AROUND 2 1/2 YEARS OLD.
SHE'S HAD PUPPIES NOT TOO LONG AGO AND HAS AN OLDER FRACTURE IN HER BACK RIGHT LEG CONSISTENT WITH BEING HIT BY A CAR AT SOME POINT IN HER LIFE, WHICH SEEMS TO HAVE HEALED UP AS WELL AS IT COULD ON IT'S OWN, BUT COULD GIVE HER A LITTLE ARTHRITIC DISCOMFORT LATER IN LIFE.

SHE'S BRIGHT-EYED AND ALERT AND WEIGHS JUST A HAIR OVER..NOTHING!

SHE IS NOW CURRENT ON ALL HER SHOTS...AND I ALSO GAVE HER SOMETHING FOR THE TAPEWORM SHE HAS, THAT'S ABOUT 8 BITES AWAY FROM FINISHING HER OFF FOR SUPPER.

GIVE HER TWO OF THESE IN THE MORNING...AND SHE'LL BE JUST FINE.

TWENTY MINUTES AFTER WE GOT HOME. I HAD A REACTION TO ONE OF THE SHOTS...

MY EYE'S TURNED GREEN AND I COULDN'T STOP LICKING MY LIPS FOR THREE DAYS!
GOOD TIMES Y'ALL....GOOD TIMES!

O.M.G. I ALMOST FORGOT THE REALLY GREAT NEWS!

THE LADY AT THE DESK SAID I WAS THE CUTEST LITTLE THING SHE EVER HAD EVER SEEN IN HER LIFE!

DOESN'T SEEM TO BE ANYTHING WRONG WITH HER EYE SIGHT...THAT'S FUR SURE!

CATCH YA NEXT TIME...