MERLIN SMILED FOR A MOMENT AND THEN REMINDED KACI THAT HE WAS STILL PRETTY SWEET ON MOLLY!
"STILL SWEET ON MOLLY!?" KACI REPLIED, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?
DOES MOLLY EVEN KNOW YOU LIVE HERE MERLIN?
YOU NEED TO FORGET ABOUT MOLLY PAL.
TRUST ME, TIKA'S THE GIRL FOR YOU, MY BLURRY LITTLE FRIEND!
HERE'S WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO OKAY?
ARE YOU LISTENING MERLIN?
I WANT YOU TO WALK UP TO TIKA RIGHT NOW, TAKE A GOOD WHIFF OF WHATEVER THEY DOUSED HER WITH AT THE GROOMERS, AND TELL HER HOW NICE SHE SMELLS!
CAN YOU DO THAT MERLIN? CAN YOU TELL TIKA HOW PRETTY SHE LOOKS?
WHAT A GOOD BOY YOU ARE MERLIN!
COME ON NOW! GO TELL TIKA HOW PRETTY SHE IS!
COME ON! I'M RIGHT HERE BUDDY!
I'LL EVEN GO WITH YOU AND BLOCK HER IN SO SHE CAN'T GO NOWHERE!
YOU KNOW HOW TIKA ALWAYS TAKES HER AFTERNOON NAPS ON THE ARM OF THE RECLINER EVERYDAY? TODAY, I WANT YOU TO JUMP UP ON THAT CHAIR AND SIT RIGHT DOWN BESIDE HER, LIKE IT'S THE ONLY SEAT LEFT IN THE PALACE, OKAY BUDDY?
CAN YOU DO THAT MERLIN? CAN YOU GO SIT PRETTY WITH TIKA TOO?
I JUST THINK IT WOULD BE A REAL NICE WAY TO THANK HER FOR LIKING YOU,
THAT'S ALL! UNLESS...MAYBE...YOU DON'T LIKE HER?"
"I LIKE HER!" MERLIN REPLIED...
"I'VE JUST ALWAYS THOUGHT OF HER AS MORE LIKE THE PACK WACKO, THAT'S ALL! BUT I DO LIKE HER! I MEAN, PUT ASIDE THE CONSTANT PSYCHOTIC BREAK DOWNS, THE ON-GOING PANIC ATTACKS, THE NEVER-ENDING SEPARATION ANXIETY, THE TOTAL MELT DOWNS, THE COMPLETE BRAIN BLOW-OUTS, AND THIS IMAGE OF HER THAT I WILL NEVER UN-SEE AGAIN...EVER...WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE?"
.
AFTER THINKING ABOUT IT FOR A MINUTE, MERLIN DECIDED, THAT OTHER THAN AN EYE OR A PIECE OF AN EAR, WHAT DID HE REALLY HAVE TO LOSE, BY JUST SAYING SOMETHING NICE TO TIKA..RIGHT? RIGHT? ANYBODY!? RIGHT?
MERLIN AND KACI TURNED AND WALKED TOWARDS TIKA.
MERLIN WOULD APPROACH TIKA FROM BEHIND, ON THE RIGHT, WHILE KACI APPROACHED TIKA AT THE SAME TIME FROM THE LEFT, DRIVING TIKA RIGHT INTO THE PATH, OF MERLIN'S WAITING SCHNOZOLA!
THE PLAN WAS EXECUTED WITH MILITARY PRECISION Y'ALL!
MERLIN SLIPPED IN BESIDE TIKA, TOOK HIMSELF A LITTLE WIFFY-SNIFF AND TOLD TIKA..."YOU SURE DO SMELL PRETTY THERE MISS TIKA! YOUR COLLAR SMELLS LIKE OLD VOMIT...BUT YOU DON'T SMELL TOO BAD!"
KACI WALKED PAST MERLIN, SHAKING HER HEAD AND TOLD HIM UNDER HER BREATH AS SHE WALKED BY..."WELL...YOU MIGHT HAVE LOST HER WITH THE WHOLE "VOMIT-SMELLING COLLAR THING" BUT HEY, MAYBE YOU'LL HAVE BETTER LUCK WITH THE CHAIR DATE THING! CHUMMMMP"
MERLIN WALKED ON AHEAD OF TIKA, (WHO WAS PROBABLY ABOUT READY TO GO INTO SOME KIND OF CRISIS ANYWAY) AND WAITED FOR HER TO JUMP UP ON THE RECLINER AND TAKE HER AFTERNOON NAP.
HE DIDN'T HAVE TO WAIT VERY LONG!
TIKA JUMPED UP ON THE CHAIR,
AND GOT HERSELF SETTLED IN,
AND BEGAN TO DOZE OFF.
JUST AS TIKA WAS GETTING INTO A GOOD SNOOZE, MERLIN DECIDED TO FOLLOW KACI'S ADVICE AND JOIN HER ON THE RECLINER.
UNFORTUNATELY, ALL THAT RESULTED IN, WAS TIKA BEING JOLTED AWAKE AND KNOCKED OFF THE ARM OF THE CHAIR TO THE FLOOR!
IN THE MEANTIME, KACI WAS OUT IN THE KITCHEN,
LOOKING AROUND FOR A GOOD HIDING PLACE TO AMBUSH ME FROM!
AFTER WATCHING HER TRY TO FIGURE SOMETHING OUT FOR TEN MINUTES, I DECIDED TO HELP HER OUT A LITTLE AND SUGGESTED SHE CONSIDER HIDING UNDER THE COUNTER TO JUMP OUT AT ME FROM!
SHE TOOK A LOOK FOR HERSELF AND QUICKLY AGREED,
SHE HADN'T EVER THOUGHT OF HIDING THERE BEFORE!
I TOLD HER, ALL SHE HAD TO DO NOW, WAS GO WAIT FOR ME TO WALK BY!
AND THEN...
I WENT THE OTHER WAY AND TOOK MYSELF A LITTLE ONE OF THESE!
WHEN I COME BACK NEXT TIME, WE'RE GONNA TEACH AND OLD DOG
A COUPLE OF NEW TRICKS Y'ALL! BYE!
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