FROM WORSE...TO WORSER

 AFTER THOSE HARROWING, HEART-POUNDING,

ADRENALIN FUELED MOMENTS OF STARING DEATH IN THE FACE,

 WE FINALLY MADE IT INTO THE SAFETY OF THE PARK ITSELF,

 WHERE WE COULD TRY TO RELAX AND ENJOY OURSELVES FOR A FEW.

TIKA SAID,

  "I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT JUST HAPPENED! 

WHAT COULD HAVE POSSIBLY POSSESSED YOU TO STAND NOSE TO FANGS,

  WITH THAT HIDEOUS LITTLE FOX LIKE THAT?

 HOW WERE YOU ABLE TO STAY SO CALM!?"

"I STAYED CALM" I SAID,

 "BECAUSE I KNEW I WAS NEVER IN ANY DANGER!

THE MINUTE THAT FOX JUMPED OUT AT US LIKE HE DID,

I HEARD KACI SAY TO HERSELF..

."SNAAAAAAACKTIME!"

 NOW YOU AND ME BOTH KNOW,
 KACI WOULD HAVE FINISHED THAT FOX OFF BEFORE HE COULD'VE  PULLED HIS TONGUE OUT OF THE WAY TO TAKE HIS FIRST BITE!

 I KNEW I WAS IN BETTER HANDS THAN THAT OLD FOX WAS...THAT'S FOR SURE!
 
 WE SNIFFED AROUND A LITTLE, TO SEE WHICH OF OUR FRIENDS MIGHT HAVE BEEN HERE SINCE THE LAST TIME WE SNUCK OUT AND CAME OVER HERE..

 

SURELY, YOU DIDN'T THINK THIS IS THE FIRST TIME WE'VE DONE THIS RIGHT?

 "HEY TIKA!" I SAID,

"HOW MANY TIMES HAVE WE SNUCK OUT LIKE THIS? TWO? THREE?"

"TODAY MAKES ELEVEN! WHY?" SHE REPLIED.

 TIKA WENT OVER TO THE FENCE,

TO SEE IF ANY OF HER FRIENDS IN THE BIG DOG PARK WERE AROUND,

 

 AND KACI WAS SITTING UP ON THE BENCH,

 WONDERING FOX TASTE LIKE?

 

FROM THE MINUTE WE GOT INTO THE PARK,

 I FELT LIKE I WAS BEING SHADOWED BY THE PUPARAZZI!

 

EVERY TIME I TURNED AROUND,

THERE HE WAS!

   IF HE WANTED MY PAWTOGRAPH, 

I WISH HE WOULD JUST ASK!

ALL THE SUDDEN, OUT OF NOWHERE, 

 I SEE THIS PEREGRINE FALCON SWOOP DOWN OUT OF THE SKY

LIKE A U.F.O. DOING 200 MPH, HEADED STRAIGHT FOR KACI!

I DROPPED THE CAMERA

  (SO THAT'S WHY I DON'T HAVE ANY PICTURES),
AND RAN AS FAST AS I COULD TO TRY AND WARN HER,

 BUT IT WAS ALREADY TOO LATE...

NO WARNING COULD SAVE HER NOW!

THE FALCON WRAPPED IT TALONS AROUND KACI'S PAW,

 AND BEGAN TO FLY OFF WITH HER,

WHERE SHE WOULD TAKE HER SOMEWHERE,

SHRED HER TO PIECES, AND HAVE HER FOR LUNCH!

                                  (TALK ABOUT AN IRONIC TWIST OF FATE RIGHT?)

ALL AT ONCE THE FALCON FOUND ITSELF UNABLE TO GET AIRBORNE UNDER THE TREMENDOUS WEIGHT OF THE CHUBBY ONE,
AND PLUMMETED TO THE GROUND, WHERE KACI ABRUPTLY ATE IT!

                                              
                                                    I ASKED HER HOW IT WAS?
                                          SHE SAID, IT TASTED LIKE CHICKEN!

WE ALL AGREED THAT WE HAD, HAD ENOUGH EXCITEMENT FOR ONE DAY.

 AND DECIDED WE WERE GOING TO GET BACK TO THE SAFETY AND COMFORT,

 OF OUR OWN SURROUNDINGS AT HOME, EVEN IF IT KILLS US! (APPARENTLY)

MY NERVES WERE WAY TOO FRAZZLED, TO FOCUS ON THE ROAD,

SO I ASKED TIKA TO DRIVE.

WHAT!? SHE HAS A LICENSE TOO!

YOU KNOW, IF YOU READ THE TRAFFIC LAW BOOK ABOUT LICENSED DRIVERS,

IT JUST SAYS, ONLY 'LICENSED' DRIVERS MAY OPERATE A MOTOR VEHICLE!

SHOW ME WERE IT SAYS,

THAT A DOG,  MAY NOT USE HIS 'DOG' LICENSE TO OPERATE A MOTOR VEHICLE,

AND I WILL CALL US A CAB EVERY TIME TIME WE WANT TO SNEAK OUT,

 AND GO SOME PLACE... FROM HERE ON OUT!

WHAT'S THE MATTER? CAT GOT YOUR TONGUE? HMMMM?

MIRACULOUSLY,

 WE ALL GOT BACK TO THE HOUSE IN ONE PIECE.

TIKA AND KACI WENT RIGHT INTO THE HOUSE,
 WHILE I STAYED BEHIND TO RESET THE ODOMETER ON THE CAR.
 (THERE;S AN AP FOR THAT!)

NOW, LET ME ASK YOU THIS...
WASN'T THAT A MUCH MORE EXCITING TRIP TO THE DOG PARK TO READ ABOUT THAN, THE REAL VERSION....WHICH IS USUALLY SOMETHING MORE LIKE THIS...

 "TODAY WE WENT TO THE DOG PARK. 

DITZY CHASED THE BALL TWICE.
 AND THEN TIKA AND I WENT POTTY,
IN THE LAST TWO UN-POTTIED SPOTS IN THE PARK. 

AFTER THAT, WE WENT HOME!" 

I'M THERE FOR YOU FRIENDS!
WE'LL CATCH YOU NEXT TIME!