WANNA BET?

WHEN THE PHOTO SHOOT WITH MOLLY WAS OVER, 

WE ALL WENT OUT INTO THE KITCHEN FOR WATER, 

EXCEPT TIKA, WHO STAYED BEHIND IN BIG RECLINER.

THE BIG GUY DOESN'T SIT IN THE BIG RECLINER VERY MUCH.

THE LAST TIME HE SAT IN IT,

 HE TOLD DEE HE COULDN'T BELIEVE HOW MUCH SMALLER,

THEY WERE MAKING RECLINERS ANY MORE!

YEAH! THAT'S IT! 

THE CHAIRS ARE GETTING SMALLER!

GOOD OBSERVATION THERE "BIG" GUY!"

I PEEKED BACK INTO THE OTHER ROOM,

 TO MAKE SURE TIKA WAS STILL IN THE CHAIR...

SHE WAS...

ME, MERLIN, MOLLY AND KACI,
 ALL MADE A BET TO SEE HOW MANY TIMES IT WOULD TAKE US,
 TO GO TO THE WINDOW AND ACT LIKE SOMETHING EXCITING WAS GOING ON OUTSIDE, BEFORE TIKA WOULD JUMP DOWN,
AND RUN OVER TO THE WINDOW TO SEE WHAT IT WAS!

HANG ON...I WANNA CHECK ON TIKA AGAIN..

GEE...

THOSE POINTY LITTLE EARS WOULD BE AIMED IN OUR DIRECTION,

 WOULD THEY?

 WHEN I ASKED HER IF SHE WAS TRYING TO LISTEN IN ON OUR CONVERSATION?

SHE JUST LOOKED AT ME AND SAID...

 HAVE I EVER TRIED TO LISTEN TO A CONSTELLATION? WHAT?

AND THEN SHE TURNED AWAY REAL QUICK,

 LIKE I WAS INTERRUPTING HER WHILE SHE WAS TRYING TO COUNT THE GRAIN LINES IN THAT PIECE OF FURNITURE SHE'S PRETENDING TO BE IN AWE OF!

I WAS PRETTY SURE SHE HADN'T HEARD ANYTHING WE HAD TALKED ABOUT,

 SO ONE BY ONE WE ALL STROLLED BACK INTO THE OTHER ROOM TO FIND OUT!

ME, MERLIN AND MOLLY, WOULD BE THE WINDOW RUNNERS,

AND KACI WOULD COUNT HOW MANY TIMES THE THREE OF US,

 WENT TO THE WINDOW BEFORE TIKA JUMPS DOWN!

KACI FOUND THE PERFECT SPOT THAT SHE THOUGHT,
 WOULD GIVE HER THE BEST VIEW OF THE WINDOW 

                                                        AND GOT INTO POSITION,

MERLIN GUESSED IT WOULD TAKE US 5 TRIPS TO THE WINDOW,
BEFORE TIKA WOULD JUMP DOWN.
MOLLY SAID 3 TRIPS...
KACI SAID 4...

AND I SAID,
 SHE WOULDN'T JUMP DOWN AT ALL, BECAUSE I KNOW FOR A FACT,
 TIKA COULD CARE LESS WHAT'S GOING ON OUTSIDE!

HECK,
SHE CAN BARELY DEAL WITH WHATS GOING ON IN THE SPACE SHE TAKES UP!

AT STAKE?
THE EVENING TREAT!

I TOLD MERLIN TO GO FIRST...

AND THEN MOLLY WENT!

AND THEN I WENT!

AND THEN MOLLY WENT AGAIN!

AND THEN MERLIN AGAIN!

 AND WE'RE ALL BARKING LIKE CRAZY!
 AND LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW!
AND JUMPING UP AND DOWN ALL EXCITED!
AND BARKING SOME MORE!
AND MAKING US A BIG OLE TEXAS SIZED RUCKUS!
 AND TRASHING US ANOTHER WINDOW SILL!

WE ALL LOOKED OVER AT TIKA, AT THE SAME TIME,
TO SEE HOW SHE  WAS REACTING TO ALL THE CHAOS AND MADNESS,
 WE WERE CREATING!

PERHAPS HER REACTION WAS JUST...RUNNING A LITTLE LATE TODAY?

 WE STARTED IN AGAIN!

THIS TIME MOLLY WENT FIRST...

 AND THEN MERLIN WENT...

BUT THEN HE STARTED LAUGHING,
 

AND LAUGHING!

 HE FINALLY HE TO LOOK AWAY REAL QUICK,
SO TIKA DIDN'T START WONDERING WHAT WAS SO FUNNY?

                                 AND THEN ME AND MOLLY WENT AGAIN!

 

 AND THEN MERLIN AND MOLLY AGAIN!

AND STILL...NO REACTION!

FINALLY TIKA STOOD UP ON THE ARM OF THE CHAIR,
JUST LIKE SHE DOES WHEN SHE'S ABOUT TO LOOK OUT THE WINDOW...
( WHICH IS USUALLY),
 RIGHT BEFORE SHE JUMPS DOWN AND GOES BALLISTIC,
 LIKE THE REST OF US.

FOR SOME REASON...SHE LOOKED DOWN AND NOT  OUT THE WINDOW?

THEN, SHE LOOKED LOOKED TOWARDS THE FRONT DOOR,
 AND STILL DIDN'T LOOK OUT THE WINDOW!

MERLIN THOUGHT MAYBE IF HE JUMPED UP ON THE CHAIR BESIDES TIKA,
 AND STARTED GROWLING OUT THE WINDOW REAL LOUD OR SOMETHING,
SHE'D BE SURE TO LOOK OUT THE WINDOW THEN!

WRONG!

TIKA LOOKED THE OTHER WAY!

WHEN MERLIN'S ATTEMPT TO LURE TIKA'S ATTENTION TO THE WINDOW FAILED...

HE WENT BACK TO THE WINDOW...
AND TIKA...GOT NICE AND COMFY ON THE ARM OF THE CHAIR..
 

.
FACING AWAY FROM THE WINDOW!

WE ALL GAVE UP AND WALKED AWAY..

JUST AS I WAS ABOUT TO TURN THE CORNER,
 AND HEAD DOWN THE HALL, OUT OF SITE..

I TOOK ONE LAST LOOK BACK AT TIKA...
AND LOW AND BEHOLD! THERE SHE WAS!

TIKA LOOKED OVER AT ME AND SAID...
"WHAT! NO WINNERS?" 

"WHY IF NONE OF YOU ARE WINNERS...
I BELIEVE, CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG...
THAT MAKES YOU GUYS.... A BUNCH OF LOSERS!

FROM THE DESK OF LIL DITZ...
THIS IS TIKA-WEEKA, SIGNING OFF.

GIVE ME STRENGTH!

I WENT BACK INTO THE HOUSE AND SAW DEE SITTING ON THE COUCH WITH HER LAPTOP, ON TOP OF HER LAP, 

AND NOTICED THERE WAS JUST ENOUGH ROOM BESIDE HER...FOR ME!

I JUMPED UP AND SETTLED IN...

OF COURSE THEN MERLIN HAD TO JUMP UP ON THE OTHER SIDE,

AND STARTED GETTING ALL THIS PETTING THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MINE!

I FEEL BAD FOR DEE BECAUSE, 

WELL LOOK AT THE PICTURE AGAIN!

 SHE'S REACHING ALL THE WAY ACROSS HERSELF,

RISKING EVERYTHING FROM A TORN ROTATOR CUFF TO TENNIS ELBOW,

 TO PET HIM...

 AND I'M RIGHT HERE!

 

HER ELBOW WAS ALREADY ON MY BUTT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

ALL SHE HAD TO DO WAS LET HER HAND FALL TO THE COUCH CUSHION,

 AND ME AND HER WOULD HAVE BEEN AT THE PETTING ZOO Y'ALL!

AS SOON MERLIN REALIZED WHATEVER I WAS SITTING NEXT TO DEE FOR,

 DIDN'T INVOLVE ANY SPECIAL LITTLE TREATS,
 (LIKE THE ONES I GET SOMETIMES JUST FOR BEING CUTE),
HE JUMPED BACK DOWN.

AND NOW DEE, COULD PET ME...TO HER LITTLE HEARTS CONTENT!

YUP...JUST REACH OVER AND HAVE AT IT!

I'LL JUST SIT RIGHT HERE AND WAIT FOR IT,

LIKE A GOOD...

LITTLE...G....

WHEN I WOKE UP FROM MY LITTLE SIESTA, AN HOUR OR SO LATER,

I REMEMBERED I WANTED TO DO ANOTHER PHOTO SHOOT WITH MOLLY,

 EXCLUSIVELY FOR MY BLOG.

 I JUMPED DOWN FROM THE COUCH, GRABBED MY CAMERA,

 AND WENT TO TRACK HER DOWN.

I FOUND HER IN THE PARLOR BY THE BIG CHAIR AND DECIDED,

 THAT WAS AS GOOD A PLACE AS ANY FOR THE SHOOT.

I SAID HI TO MOLLY AND SNAPPED OFF THE FIRST PICTURE,
 BUT AT THE LAST SECOND, SHE TURNED HER HEAD AWAY!

I FIGURED, SOMETHING OUTSIDE MUST HAVE GOT HER ATTENTION,

 AND LINED UP FOR THE NEXT SHOT.

AGAIN, AT THE VERY LAST SECOND,
 SHE TURNS AWAY FROM THE CAMERA A SECOND TIME!

AND THEN AGAIN!

AND AGAIN!

AND AGAIN!

FINALLY I''M ALL LIKE..

MOLLY! MOLLY!
 STOP TURNING YOUR HEAD AWAY AND LOOK A ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!

YOU'RE TOO CLOSE...TAKE IT BACK A STEP WILL YOU?

THERE...MUCH BETTER!
NOW WILL YOU PLEASE TELL ME,
 WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM TODAY?

MOLLY:
"WELL, EVERY TIME I GET READY TO JUMP UP ON THE COUCH,
 TO SIT NEXT TO MOM FOR A LITTLE WHILE....YOU'RE ALWAYS THERE!

I LOVE HER TOO YOU KNOW, AND SOMETIMES IT JUST MAKES ME SAD,
 THAT I CAN'T SIT AND BE CLOSE TO HER FOR A WHILE TOO,
BECAUSE LIKE I SAID...YOU'RE ALWAYS THERE!

MERLIN WALKED OVER AND GAVE MOLLY A LITTLE CONSOLING KISS ON THE CHEEK  AND PROMISED HER THAT HE WOULD BE THERE FOR HER TO HELP HER GET THROUGH THE HEARTBREAK AND PAIN CAUSED BY MY DEVASTATING ACT SELFISHNESS!
 

"SHE'S ALL BETTER NOW." MERLIN SAID.

 FRIENDS...
YOU COULD TASTE THE DRAMA IN THE AIR!
IT WAS....BLAND!

"MOLLY" I BEGAN,
"WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST JUMP UP ON THE COUCH,
AND SIT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF MOM?"

"ACTUALLY" SHE REPLIED...

I NEVER THOUGHT DOING THAT!

SIGH....

WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT TIME!

GETTING REAL WITH MAKE BELIEVE!

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF MY FIRST ATTEMPT TO ADD A LITTLE 'B-MOVIE' DRAMA TO YESTERDAYS POST,
 BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS A REALLY FUN WAY,

 TO HELP YOU WASTE A FEW MORE MINUTES OF YOUR DAY!

I MEAN IF YOU'RE ALREADY WASTING PART OF YOUR DAY READING A BLOG POST,  ALLEGEDLY BEING WRITTEN BY SOMEONES PET ANYWAY...

THEN OBVIOUSLY...YOU ALREADY HAVE TIME TO WASTE, RIGHT?

SO...WHY NOT HAVE FUN WASTING IT! RIGHT?

 CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET?

 WE NEVER EVEN GOT INTO THE INSIDE PARK YESTERDAY!

THE PLACE WAS AS EMPTY AS KACI'S STOMACH IS MOST OF THE TIME...

(YOU CAN'T SNEAK IN THROUGH GATES LIKE YOUR PART OF ANOTHER DOGS FAMILY,

 IF NO OTHER DOGS FAMILIES SHOW UP!)

 WE JUST STOOD OUTSIDE THE GATES, 

LOOKING AROUND LIKE A PACK OF REALLY CUTE STRAYS,
 WAITING FOR A WAY IN!

OH,  AND THOSE  PICTURES OF TIKA AND KACI IN THE PARK YESTERDAY?
  OLD ONES!

AN ELDERLY COUPLE DID WALK UP TO US AT ONE POINT,

AT FIRST WE THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING TO OPEN THE GATES FOR US, 

UNTIL WE HEARD THE OLD MAN TELL HIS WIFE,

"LET'S OPEN THE GATES AND GET THEM INSIDE,

 AND THEN WE CAN GO HOME AND CALL THE DOG-CATCHER!"

DOG-CATCHER!

WHO SAY'S DOG-CATCHER ANYMORE?

 WHAT AM I MISSING HERE?

IF YOU OPEN ONE OF THE GATES TO TRAP US...AND IT WORKS, 

(WHICH IT WON'T... BECAUSE YOU PROBABLY THINK, AS SLOW AS YOU DRIVE),

 WOULDN'T WE AT THAT POINT,  ALREADY BE...'CATCHED DOGS?'

WE TOOK OFF LIKE WE WAS LATE FOR DINNER Y'ALL!

WHEN DEE AND THE BIG GUY FINALLY GOT BACK FROM THE MOVIES, 

DEE SCOOPED ME UP AND PUT ME IN HER LAP,

 TO HELP HER CHOOSE AN APPROPRIATE WINE FOR DINNER.

(APPARENTLY.. IF I LOOK AT ONE BOTTLE MORE THAN THE OTHER..

THE UNIVERSE HAS SPOKEN!)

FOR DEE. CHOOSING THE RIGHT WINE FOR DINNER..

.WAS JUST THAT EASY Y'ALL!

NOT ME FOLKS!

I WOULD WANT TO KNOW...
 WHAT KIND OF PROTEIN SHE WAS PLANNING TO SERVE?

WHAT KIND OF VEGETABLE SELECTION SHE HAD IN MIND?

WAS SHE LOOKING FOR A BOUQUET THAT'S LIGHT AND AIRY,?

 PIG-HEADED AND BRASH?

 EARTHY AND MAGICAL?

I STARED AT THE RED ONE AGAIN,

AND HENCE FORTH, 

MADE WAY FOR THE WORLD...TO MOVE ON!

WELL, 

YOU CERTAINLY CAN'T SERVE A CHARDONNAY WITH HOT DOGS AND BEANS RIGHT?
I MEAN, HOW BARBARIC WOULD THAT BE?

IF ANY OF YOU READERS OUT THERE, EVER FIND YOURSELF FACING THIS VERY SAME KIND OF DINNER DILEMMA, HERE'S WHAT I SUGGEST YOU DO...

HAVE A GLASS OF EACH AND GO THINK ABOUT IT FOR A WHILE!

DEE PUT ME DOWN ON THE FLOOR AGAIN,
 AND WENT BACK OUT TO HER OFFICE FOR A WHILE TO DO A LITTLE WORK,
SO I JUMPED BACK UP ON THE BAR STOOL AND STARTED BLOGGING AGAIN!

I KEPT HEARING SOME STRANGE SOUND,
 COMING FROM OUT ON THE BACK PORCH SOMEWHERE?

I TURNED MY EAR'S IN THAT DIRECTION AND LISTENED AGAIN,

IT WAS QUIET..THE NOISE WAS GONE!
.I RETURNED TO MY BLOG!

PLEASE DON'T ASK ME FOR DETAILS ABOUT RETURNING TO MY BLOG
BECAUSE RIGHT NOW THE WHOLE THING IS A LITTLE BLURRY!

                                       GOOD USE OF A BAD PHOTO RIGHT!

 I HEARD THE NOISE AGAIN,

AND DECIDED TO JUMP DOWN AND INVESTIGATE!

  KACI WAS IN THE LIVING ROOM,

SCOURING THE FLOOR FOR SOMETHING TO EAT...

 LIKE A STRAY KIBBLE SOMEONE DROPPED,
 OR MAYBE A RACCOON THAT ACCIDENTALLY WANDERED INTO THE HOUSE,
 THROUGH THE DOGGY DOOR BY MISTAKE....

              
                                  TIKA WAS IN THE RECLINER WATCHING TV...

    AND MERLIN WAS KNEE DEEP IN CONVERSATION WITH HIS REFLECTION IN THE BOTTOM OF THE BLINDS!

                                THAT LEFT ONLY MOLLY UNACCOUNTED FOR...

               I WALKED OVER TO THE DOGGY DOOR TO LISTEN A LITTLE CLOSER,

                                                    AND HEARD IT ONCE AGAIN!

                     I WENT THROUGH THE DOGGY DOOR AND DOWN THE STEPS...

                                THE SOUND WAS COMING FROM MY RIGHT SIDE!

         (WANNA GUESS WHAT SIDE I'M GONNA BE TURNING MY HEAD TO

 IN THE NEXT PHOTO?) 

I TURNED MY HEAD TO THE RIGHT, AND KNEW IMMEDIATELY,

 THAT I HAD HEARD THAT SOUND BEFORE.

     IT WAS JUST MOLLY KISSING UP TO THE BIG GUY FOR A LITTLE PLAYTIME!

  (HE FALL'S FOR IT EVERY TIME TOO!)

WE'LL SEE YA NEXT TIME Y'ALL!